Browsing through the papers this morning, I caught this story in the Torygraph.   The British Lawnmower Racing Grand Prix takes place next weekend in West Sussex... 4 classes of Mower.. from Tractor to Roller.



Strangely insane, there is a certain appeal......

Interested to read that the Wild Boar - extinct in England since the 17th Century - is making something of a comeback.   Re-introduced into the wild following the hurricane of 1987 when many farmed animals escaped, they now number some between 500 and 1,000.   After the recent release of animals in Devon, most boar slipped quietly away onto the moors and into the woodlands, their natural habitat.

Now concern is growing that they will become, like foxes, urban vermin, foraging for food in our back gardens and rooting through our bins.

And good foragers they are too.   We experienced them in Hong Kong where wild board and abandoned domestic pigs have come together to create a surprisingly large population around Sai Kung and the Country Park.   They would come down the valley into our garden - before we 'reclaimed it' - towards the end of the year when water was scarce.   I would often see them through the railing when I parked my car but, at the first sign of movement towards them they would be off like a shot.

As we cleared the land and planted vegetables they visited more often - eating all my radishes and generally making a right mess.    Good quality 6ft fencing was the answer....

Now their number is growing in England it means they may be shot..... Roll on the Wiltshire boar population!    I must check if Mr FM is adequately tooled up for such an event.  

It seems a very long time ago since I posted confirmation that we had exchanged contracts on our new house.   And it was... but finally we are being packed as I type and all being well, will begin to move in on Monday.

Moving puts us nearer the school and owning is better than renting, but we will miss our Farmhouse, the beautiful setting and our neighbours, all of which conspired to provide a 'soft landing' for a Hong Kong family.

It's been a great year - and I'm looking forward to the next one.

As the shooting season begins I admit to an degree of anticipation.   The cool mornings, low sun, still, quiet and peaceful.

Happily shattered by the crack of 12 guages.   Well, what did you expect?  Keats?

So yesterday, having texted Mr FM to see if he was up for a few clays I went out into the paddock in search of a pigeon or two.   Crafty so and so's pigeons - they have great eyesight and once spotted they turn away from you in an instant.   Most just flew across the field and into the big chestnut tree.   Oh for a second gun!   But I managed one, crossing left to right and turning slightly away from me - it was a good clean shot, though I say so myself.   And, not having even opened the gun cabinet since February I was feeling pretty smug.

Back indoors for a proper breakfast, which tastes all the better for having done a bit of honest work beforehand and the phone rings.   Mr FM is up for clays.   Hoorah!

Grab kit, cartridges, gun and ear defenders, leap in Land Rover an off we go.

2 hours and one very sore shoulder later I realise a number of things:  I have not completely lost the knack - but I need more practice.   That the instinctive shot - a quick clean mount - is better than thinking about it too much.   Think and the bird is gone.   And how much I've enjoyed shooting.

Roll on the first day of our shoot!

Friends in Hong Kong sent this over .... and on that subject there seems to have been a resurgence of the old e-mail jokes and stories.  Which can only be a good thing.   I will be sharing and enjoying.

This is what marriage is really all about.

He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered

"THE TEETH."

A few days spent in Iberia - hence the paucity of posts - reminded me firmly of life before the health and safety nasties began to ruin everything.

The morning of my flight I was entertained by the latest numpty exposing the danger of doormats as trip hazards.  Well, we have antique rugs over our carpet in our Madrid office and very attractive they are too.   To date we haven't lost a single client to this mortal danger and staff, who run the gauntlet across the reception several times a day, seem to have managed to deal with it's ever present threat without incident.

This is perhaps why the contractor applying solvent based adhesive prior to putting up the wall covering was happy to smoke as he pasted.

The bars and cafe's too were interesting.   Few non smoking areas in any but the biggest and the surprise of the week was seeing people in airports wandering about puffing away happily, rather than clustered in some smoke filled goldfish bowl, or shivering outside in the rain.

And the reason these issues aren't a problem is simply because they've a degree of common sense and a 'get on with your own life attitude', rather than a non-job civil service bureaucrat muppet waste of space nanny state interfering busy body pain in the neck (are you with me..?) trying to tell you how to run your life.

There.  I feel better already.

And the paella yesteday was absolutely superb.

Many thanks to old pal CB for stumping up for dinner last eve at our favourite Italian eatery in Clerkenwell. 

Visiting from Hong Kong, he's looking to set a record for the amount of IKEA flat pack furniture you can get into a modern flat in Kensington - and doing well by the sound of it - as he settles his youngest into art college.

As Big Mike said, 'It wasn't like this, when I was a student'.

I was in good company, with both of them being past Chairman of the MG Car Club of Hong Kong, needless to say the conversation was pretty much autocentric.

Which is a good thing after 8 hours of 2007 budget planning.

 

Mark Whittaker of Gloucestershire is currently at large after going on the run in June, charged with breaking the terms of his 2003 Asbo, the first banning a man from drinking. The 47-year-old is alleged to have threatened a petrol pump assistant who refused to turn on the machine - ...   more »

Singapore Tim sent this one over.. which I like.. and as I'm too damn busy to sit and write a sensible post, here goes:

A true story, blah, blah, blah.... (yeah, right)

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read ...

"and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?"

The teacher paused then asked the class: "And what do you think the man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter of factly..."I think the man would have said -"Well, **** me!! A talking pig!"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

A 15-year-old who in August was collared for being drunk in breach of his Asbo escaped when the court heard how a misprint had stated that he must not be seen in public without alcohol. He was also bound by the order to act in a manner likely to cause ...   more »

Somewhat shocked and rather saddened at the death, in what seems to have been a very rare accident (especially given what he did for a living... ) of Steve Irwin,  The Crocodile Hunter.

We used to watch his shows regularly on Cable TV in Hong Kong and his infectious enthusiasm appealed greatly to the kids.

A statement on the Austrlia Zoo website says simply:

At 11am today, the 4th September 2006, Steve Irwin was fatally wounded by a stingray barb to his heart whilst filming a sequence on Batt Reef off Port Douglas for his daughter’s new TV series.
Emergency services were called from Cairns Rescue Base and met Croc One, Steve’s rescue vessel at Low Isle on the Great Barrier Reef.
The Croc One crew performed constant CPR during the thirty minute dash to Low Isle, but the medical staff pronounced Steve dead at approx. 12 noon.

His producer and closest friend, John Stainton said on Croc One today,
“The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest Dads on the planet. He died doing what he loves best and left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind. Crocs Rule!”

A wonderful story in the papers today about Britain's oldest worker, Buster Martin, who is 100 today.  He is being given the day off and taken to the Chelsea ground to be presented a team shirt with 'Buster 100' on the back.

Mr Martin has some wonderfull views on life:

On not working:   "I'd become the most miserable sod you have come across" .

On 'retiring' at 97:   "I didn't enjoy it, too much time on my hands"   ''Boredom is a big killer of men"

On telephones:   "I have never in my life owned a phone – they are a bloody nuisance, you can be sitting peacefully indoors and they start ringing. I hate them."

On Foreign Holidays:   "You are only going to spend a lot of money to go over and do the same things you would do here"

Wonderful.   Happy 100th Buster.