Apparently there is an earth shattering event about to commence.   One of such magnitude that it may change our lives forever.   It has already occupied many hours of media time and is set to occupy much more over the coming weeks.   The war in Iraq?  Pah, not worth the column inches and to be relegated to the depths of page 5.

This is an event of such national import that Top Gear will be off air for 5 weeks.   Millions of flags have been printed.  Car stickers, hats, furry dice, pens and pencils, scarves, hats, mascots and all manner of assorted tat have been produced and flogged to the nation, the residue of which is set to clog up warehouses from here to Holland in about a month from now as this ephermeral nationalism will surely fade faster than Chantelle's fame.

The productivity of the nation is about to halve as vast numbers of people turn into couch potatoes to enable them to be glued to the television as if their lives depended on it.   There is national joy as we learn that Wayne's metatarsal has healed adequately for him to rejoin the team.   Hurrah!   Ten million people learn more ...   more »