Dear Guest
With reference to the above dinner please can you let me know if you have any special dietary requirements so I can inform the organisers.
Kind Regards
etc.
Well I know what they're after. Veggies n'stuff. People with genuine dietery needs. The really fussy or the religously compliant. Fairy snuff. But I thought stuff it. What about the rest of us? What if I can't eat poached salmon or chicken a la king with a hazelnut parfait? So I replied:
Sir
Thank you for your kind enquiry as to my dietary needs. I am pleased to say I am not particularly hard to please. At a push the following would be adequate:
Krug '66
Sauted Foie Gras with a freshly made apple calvados sauce
Chateau D'Yquem '79
Grapefruit sorbet
Goujons of plaice in beurre blanc sauce
Le Montrachet '78
Roast Rack of Lamb with Rosemary, minted new potatoes and green beans
Domaine de la Romanee Conti, Romanee Conti '89
Selection of French cheeses
Chateau D'Yquem (again - save you opening another bottle)
Fresh summer fruits with homemade vanilla ice cream
Boal Madeira '24
Expresso coffee
Vintage Armagnac
Petit fours
You can wheel in the defibrallator at your convenience.
Many thanks for your understanding... and please don't sit me next to any vegetarians as it may ruin their meal as well as mine.
Regards
Richard
Can't wait to see what I end up with. A rescinded invitation seems the most likely at present! Will keep you posted!