Prof. Stephen Hawking appeared on Channel 4's Breakfast TV this week - the Richard and Judy show to 'promote' his new book, A Briefer History of Time.

Now R&J are more used to questioning celebrities about their pets, or probing the details of Jude and Sienna's relationship - you know, weighty stuff like that. So their combined intellect still accounted for about 1% of the Profs. They were woeful - good comedy like this is hard to find...

Judy weighed in first. Why had the Lucasian Professor of Theoretical Physics at the University of Cambridge decided to write yet another history of time?

Prof Hawking explained that his first book had aroused a great deal of interest but people had found it difficult to understand - a kind way of saying that humanity was generally too thick to get the message. The new work was briefer and more accessible, meaning that you had to be pretty thick not to get it. One to the Prof then.

Richard's turn: "I suppose that one of the ultimate questions that non-scientists are desperate for an answer to is: what existed before the Big Bang?"

"Asking what is before the Big Bang is like asking what is north of the North Pole. It is a meaningless question," came the electronically generated reply.

"Ha ha ha," went Richard. "Well, I've asked a few of those in my time!" Many a true word spoken in jest. Second point to the Prof.

Finally Judy: "Do you believe that mankind will eventually be contacted by intelligent life in other parts of the universe?"

Prof Hawking smiled that enigmatic smile and explained that, given the vast distances involved, humanity was in for a long wait - maybe as long as waiting for intelligent life to develop on daytime TV.

Game, set and match to the Prof. Tee Hee.